Look, I’m not here to tell you what to do. We live in America. Generations before us sacrificed everything to ensure that generations after them would be able to live in relative freedom.

But when you make decisions like drinking and driving, you’ve effectively made a decision that says “I am a giant fuckwad who will probably kill someone and afterwards make every stupid excuse to get out of it because ‘it was the alcohol’s fault'” Or, alternatively, if you’re rich, you’ll just have expensive lawyers tell people that you don’t understand how cause and effect works.

I don’t drink. I’ve never drank. I’ve had people pitch me arguments six ways of Sunday why I should be drinking, or half-ass statements like “Well I only drink socially.” What the hell is “socially” mean? You go to a bar and drink with friends? Okay, sure, but how do you get there? How do you get back? What events will happen in-between? Will you simply go, have your fun, and go home? Or halfway-through, will you decide that you’re going to go speeding down a highway, or home with some guy, or smash a window? These are all valid decisions that can be made while drunk, and you have no idea what the consequences of those decisions will be until they happen. How many of you have injured yourself while drunk? Said something stupid? Slept with someone you didn’t intend to? Marry someone? Divorce someone? All decisions. All actions. All reactions.

Alcohol impairs your sense of judgement, and slows your reaction time down.

The reason I do not drink is I grew up in the midwest with families that could not have a good time without alcohol. I grew up in a sub-culture that enshrined alcohol as a way of life because people before them did the same. My grandparents were great people, and I would never tell you otherwise, but they drank Milwaukee’s Best and smoked every day of their lives, or at least most of the days of my life. My grandfather died when I was in my teens, my grandmother just a short time ago. In contrast, my other grandparents are very much still alive. Different strokes for different folks, right? That was their decision though. They made that choice. I cannot fault them for that. Others in my family succumbed to alcohol in various ways, often to the point where they had to seek help. My father’s penchant for being angry would be magnified by alcohol. I have many deep emotional scars from events where I would be screamed at, or inanimate objects beaten with other objects before my eyes. My parents never beat me or paid me any physical harm, and that I hope was due to a sliver of positive decision-making on their part, but those who know me personally tell me my emotional problems, introversion, and awkward disposition likely stems from those events. Simply put, I dared not talk back to my parents growing up, because I would be shut down from speaking, and if they were drunk, I wouldn’t dare say anything lest make it worse. It fucked me up. I used to talk to anyone and everyone and have fun as a kid. Then I became bitter and jaded and obsessed with things that didn’t require any emotional upkeep on my part. Like computers and the internet. I’m sure they’ll tell me to “Walk it off, Nancy”, or some other dismissal of my grievances. That’s fine. I don’t particularly care if they don’t acknowledge it. The past is the past after all. It won’t change how I feel.

My decision to not drink came from my desire not to ever lose control of myself in any situation. If I was going to succeed, or fail, I wanted to be in control of every aspect of it. I wanted to feel anger, sadness, remorse, and regret. I wanted to validate my existence on this dust ball. I’ve made plenty of shitty decisions in my life, and I will make many more. Alcohol inhibits those feelings, and takes you away from connecting on that personal level. I don’t want that. I want to know that when I totally flip the fuck out and punch a wall, that I am doing so because I am being a fucking idiot, and that it will not solve a damn thing. The thing that separates me from someone like Adam Lanza, whom I suspect shared many of my emotional traits and hobbies according to the reports, is that I still have a moral center that tells me that human life is to be respected, and that people are entitled to their lives no matter how I feel about it. Guns didn’t kill those innocent children and educators that day. A kid with no emotional feeling made the decision to storm that school and end those lives. Guns, alcohol, weed, they’re all harmful substances when used by people without a shred of care for everyone else. In the end, when you drink, and make the decision to drive while impaired, you’re making the decision that can kill someone. But thanks to the no-responsibility, no-rules, hands-off culture we have cultivated over the past thirty years, it’s no problem when you fuck up. Unless you’re not someone of some sort of status or upbringing that favors the laws. Justice is really convenience in disguise.

Now, I know many of you, at least those who didn’t stop reading awhile ago, probably want to tell me that you drink responsibility, or that it is possible to do so. Sure. Just like guns, you can use them and be responsible about it. Having a designated driver, cutting yourself off after a point, drinking with friends who aren’t terrible people. Again, don’t confuse this post as a means of me telling you that you should never drink because “drugs are bad, mmkay?” because even though drugs ARE bad, you can always choose not to do it. Making the choice to do it is like signing the EULA you never read on something you bought. In fact, life should have a giant EULA that your parents didn’t bother to read, but gets referenced throughout your life when you violate the TOS. Oh wait, we have that, they’re called laws. Those who cannot abide by them for the sake of civilized humanity, shouldn’t be a part of civilized humanity. So it’s in your best interest to make positive decisions and be responsible for your actions.

Responsibility is a big word. Too big for most people, I’m afraid. It takes a bigger person in the group to admit that their actions are the sum of its parts. That is why humanity will always be so small.