I’ve been largely silent on events in Ferguson, Cleveland, and New York City, because I don’t have proper words for it. It bothers me that our widespread social ills have created a society where crime and a lack of responsibility leads our young people into lives of crime and entanglement with law enforcement. It also bothers me that our law enforcement has determined the only way to deal with this is to profile, discriminate, and subsequently use lethal force in situations where non-lethal force or alternate solutions may prevail, and resolve the conflict without issue. I believe there are problems on both ends of the spectrum, but the main problem is that people choose to polarize the problem along these extremes, rather than converge in the center and seek real solutions.

Unlike men like Al Sharpton or Eric Holder, I don’t see this as an issue of race. I see this as an issue of social responsibility. Simply put, we have none. We’re content to live out our daily lives believing our problems are someone else’s. White people’s problems are because of black people. Black people’s problems are because of white people. Republicans and Democrats. Men and Women. The United States and Iran. There are any number of conflicts for any number of reasons, and rather than come to terms with them and try to resolve them, both sides kick the can down the road for the next generation to deal with, all while complaining about how it’s being dealt with. Even better still, we’ve designed this neat little box called Social Networking, with which we place our clearly working system inside and pretend it just works. Our national media, social media, and print media, all collude together to promote the notion that if you share posts on Facebook, retweet tweets on Twitter, and show them online what justice is, you’ve absolved yourself of any responsibility to what is actually wrong with society today. Where your parents and grandparents had to physically show up at the rally point and protest, or actually engage in face-to-face debates with their opponents, all you have to do is type out something and hit send. Worse yet, when people criticize your opinions or disagree with you, you can just block or de-friend them to avoid having to deal with anything you don’t like.

I wasn’t raised on intolerance. Some of you might be surprised to hear that maybe. But I was raised to treat people with value, integrity, and respect. When I was younger, before graduating and working in the real world, I was very idealistic, and very prone to politically progressive ideas, especially after moving to the northeast. I always believed in the basic cornerstones of being a good person, being courteous to women, helping those who need help, and respecting everyone regardless of color, sex, religion, or identity. Naturally I had my moments. I rebelled against my parents like any teenager should. I fought with my sister as any sibling should. I endured through divorce and the physical divide between myself and most of my family. All of these things coupled with dealing with everyday life, with other people, social situations, and other things that shape and move society. I found my opinions and views beginning to shift as time wore on. I’m now more receptive to politically conservative ideas, but I’ve never gone as far as to abandon my basic cornerstones. I still treat people respectfully, or at least until they demonstrate to me that they don’t deserve it, which is a rare case.

But I am still unable to really form proper words for incidents like this, and even other social troubles in the news, like GamerGate or ShirtGate. I am still a little idealistic in the notion that I don’t believe people are this pointlessly cruel. I am unfortunately forced to accept that there are people who are pointlessly cruel, and that these trolls will do whatever it takes to damage anything they deem fit, often for no real reason at all. It cripples my ability to engage in civil conversation with people about issues because when I dissent from the herd opinion, I’m evil, sexist, racist, misogynist, or whatever narrative is in play. The fantastic box with which we all interact with, affords us no real power to actually do anything that would actually matter in a physical space. We’ve lost many of the values social constructs like religion once held, since religion no longer plays a major role in the lives of many, where it once did fifty years and more ago. The standard family unit has been replaced by fragmented or spliced family units, single parents, extended family units, and more. Instead of adapting to these changes, we’ve ignored them, mitigated them, or made them someone else’s problem. We don’t teach our children respect for their fellow person, for their parents, for teachers and people of authority, and especially those in need or the elderly. We all know that law enforcement has problems, and those problems spill into our neighborhoods and communities. But it is a bit presumptuous of anyone to think that they are one-hundred percent of the problem when there are people contributing to the crime and unrest. The riots in Ferguson after the grand jury hearing are the greatest example of people just blatantly destroying property and people’s lives, whom they probably don’t even know, and don’t even care. It’s all an emotionally-driven, rage-fueled narcissistic power-trip to these people, eager to get their name in the news. These people had every opportunity to peacefully protest, rebuild their community, form neighborhood watch-groups to prevent further trouble, anything that would demonstrate a willingness to work with police despite a horrific and unwarranted provocation by them towards one of their own.

There are a lot of things that need to change in America, politically, judicially, and socially. It’s not something that will happen overnight. But if you can believe it, we’ve made progress over the last 30-40 years. It’s not the same as it once was, and in another 10-20 years, it will be different than it is now. What has transpired were tragedies, and no one should forget them, but they should learn from them, and teach their children and grandchildren the values and responsibility they need to realize change. None of us can fix the past. Atrocities, injustices, and intolerances have happened. There is nothing more we can do now but template them for the future, where we can point to them and tell the next generations this is what once was, and this is what you need to avoid. We, as a collective humanity, of all ages, genders, races, and identifications, need to put down the polarizing rhetoric, the blaming, knee-jerking, and fallacy, and engage in honest dialogue and solutions. Equality is never going to happen so long as people continue to insult one another, draw down separate lines, and absolve themselves of any responsibility within society.

I am one person. There isn’t much I can do on my own. But what I can do is talk to the people around me, and impress upon them my sense of integrity and value. I may succeed. I may fail. The important thing is that I don’t need to join a hashtag war or debate someone on Facebook to make a difference, I can make a difference right here at home, with my family, friends, community, and occupation. It may not be as glamorous as being a Youtube personality, e-celebrity, or some other Kind of a Big Deal, but if everyone did the same thing, we’d face a much brighter future where people realized that we don’t need to be in the box, that we can think outside of the box, and that we can change the system we thought wasn’t broken, when it in fact was, and in need of serious repair.

Equality isn’t a bumper sticker, hashtag, or buzzword. It’s a reality if you choose to embrace it.