No matter how complicated life can be, or how complex a problem is to solve, there will always be two sides to every one and every thing. Like. Dislike. Love. Hate. Good. Bad. Ok. Not ok.

Even as an infant I learn that those blue colored blocks with letters on them are fun. I don’t know what letters are, or what they mean, but when I hold them up, my parents smile and take pictures of me. It seems to cause some kind of reaction, I feel happy, I want to do it again, so that they keep smiling and taking pictures of me.

As I get older, my parents tell me that some words are bad. I don’t understand why, they don’t seem bad, they’re just words, but they frown and tell me that I won’t be able to play with my toys if I say them. I like my toys, and I feel happy when they are happy, and when I am able to play with my toys, so I don’t say those words.

In my teenage years, I’ve found there is so much to learn, so much to know. They teach us all these things in school, and all of the programs I watch on TV are filled with cool people doing cool things, and I want to be cool too. I buy their clothes, style my hair, and try their catchphrases to win over my friends at school and impress the girls. I don’t remember when it started, but I used to think girls were gross and had cooties, now I can’t stop staring at them, especially parts of them. I cling desperately to the latest trends and fads because if they’re cool, I’m cool.

But then I found this one thing. That shining diamond in the rough. I don’t understand, where was it before? Where was this thing in my life? It’s like it was always there and I was just too unworthy to understand its magnificence. I absorbed every part of it, every piece I could get my hands on. It is my everything, without it, I would have no self-worth, no purpose to my life. But this is something larger, something beyond just me. I cannot hope to contain it. It took someone else to give it to me, I must give it to other people. I have to tell my friends. I have to tell my parents, I have to tell complete strangers. Everyone, everyone should know how great this thing is.

But… what if someone doesn’t like it?

Oh god…

How do I deal with this? How do I process these emotions? People can’t possibly dislike this, it’s the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. There is absolutely nothing about it that is dis-likable, there is something for everyone. It’s the closest to universal peace this war-torn world could achieve if everyone just stopped and listened, watched, and believed.

That’s it. I’ve got it. They can’t dislike it. It’s impossible. Nothing and no one can tarnish the image of this great vision, of this great peace of art, history, culture, and power that permeates everyone on the planet. It’s just like when I was a baby with the color blocks, as long as I hold them up, for the world to see, everyone will smile, everyone will cheer, and everyone will understand me for who I am.

What if… what if that makes me the alpha and omega? What if that makes me the center of this universe? That’s right… just like those who came before me, I must pass the word, I must teach these simple-minded creatures that what I have for them will change their lives forever, will change how they perceive the world and the meaning of life, they will be smarter, they will be more adept, there is nothing they cannot be after they have discovered this thing. It will literally change their lives forever.

I… I am a god. This is what being a god feels like. No, this is what being a Pope feels like.

Hold on America. Hold on world. I am coming for you. The message is clear. My voice will be heard.

Friends is the best television show ever. Prove me wrong.